Shinobi Drabbles
by Lotus Aia
Summary: Latest Drabble: Morning Shower. A series of drabbles, all different and fun. They are YAOI, mind you! Most of them are Kakairu, but there are other pairings, of course. Kakairu, genrai, sasunaru, gaaralee, shinokiba, gaarashika
1. Teacher's Lounge

This is a series of drabbles, either stories I began and didn't feel like continuing, or random snip-its of the Naruto world life. Mostly a general humor and sometimes romance involved. This is a never ending process mind you, it's just a selection of drabbles I will add to once in a while.

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I wrote this one quite a while ago actually. And it was set as before they were together, so I adapted it.

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Teacher's Lounge

* * *

Kakashi glanced up from his book at the oncoming Shinobi. The white haired jounin gently set the book aside and scooted over on the couch, allowing room for the new occupant of the teachers lounge to join him.

"Good morning Kakashi-sensei, aren't you supposed to be training cell seven right now?" Iruka asked pleasantly, making himself comfortable in the offered space.

Kakashi gave a lazy head lull to look up at the ceiling. "Who says I'm not?"

Iruka couldn't help but roll his eyes. "Kakashi..." He muttered in the talking-to-a-lieing-six-year-old voice. A light thump on the offender's thigh was his only punishment rendered.

Kakashi smiled beneath his mask, adjusting his head band. "I only let you get away with that because we've slept together, you know. If you were anyone else I'd hit you back."

Iruka smirked and crossed his arms, putting his feet up to imitate the higher ranking of the two. "Hmph." He shifted a bit and taking note of the hip that was slowly getting closer. "Ya know, the school could pay _some_ expense for a decent couch in here. What is this thing anyway?"

Kakashi looked down at the pathetic excuse for a couch also, contemplating on whether to curse it or to pet it lovingly. "I think it's a love seat." he mumbled, burying into the cushions deeper.

"Hm. We should complain about not having a decent couch." Iruka mumbled again, peeling back the arm cover to examine the discoloration.

Kakashi smirked and nudged the Chuunin playfully, "Wassamatter, 'Ruka, you don't like cuddling with your lover?" he grinned at the next smack he received, taking it in stride and nudging his companion's feet with his own.

Iruka smirked. "Not in school. I'm too busy to be cuddling in the teachers lounge. I have to get back to teaching now anyway. Recess is almost over. Why aren't you training Cell seven?" he remembered the unanswered mystery and stared at Kakashi until an answer was volunteered.

A lazy smirk crossed his eyes and Iruka knew the smirk was of self-satisfaction. "I am training them. There assignment today is capture the flag."

Iruka blinked, "How's that training?"

"I have the flag."


	2. Sweet Sweet Mornings

Sweet Sweet Mornings

The sun beat down on the two bodies crowded together beneath the pale orange down comforter. One dark skinned Shinobi, with chocolate brown hair and almond eyes which currently hid behind resting eyelids. The other a pale skinned Shinobi, barely touched by the sun except for a short strip across the right side of his face. His eyes were mismatched and rugged, and vaguely open as he stared at the tan ribs that rose and fell beneath his arm.

Kakashi liked these kind of mornings. There was no rush to get up, the sun shone just for him and Iruka lying in the warm bed, in the embracing room with large windows overlooking a garden that Naruto had been working on for the past three months. So far it was a very empty garden. But the grass looked very healthy and green, making the scene outside, and inside the window, even brighter.

The stage of half asleep and half awake was really Kakashi's favorite part of the morning. With the euphoria of knowing that Iruka was in his arms, safe, loving, and sweet as the chocolate color of his hair, Kakashi felt the best. No business to attend, no missions, no duties. Just. Iruka. Umino.

These mornings where the best Kakashi had and would ever experience in his life. He would cherish the moment for as long as possible.

"IRUKA-SENSEEEIIII! WHERE'S THE HOSE! I NEED TO WATER THE RHUBARBS!"

An obnoxious blonde bounded in front of the window.

Slowly, body shaking, Kakashi rolled over to stare like Death himself.

"You're _dead._"


	3. Porn Deprived

Porn Deprived

* * *

At the urgent tug from the back of his vest, Kakashi looked over his shoulder at the blonde. "What is it, Naruto?" he leaned back lazily to see what the child was after this time.

"Where's Iruka?"

"How should I know?"

"He's _your_ boyfriend!" Naruto stomped past him, an urgent look on his face forced Kakashi's better judgement to get up and follow the boy.

"Is there something wrong?" he followed at a slower pace yet with longer strides, overtaking the short legged blonde who was walking with a determined step.

"Yes! I can't find Iruka and he promised me lunch today!"

The sensei rolled his eyes with as little effort as he wanted to exert. "Oh brother..." he stopped, turning around to go back to the fence he had been quietly reading on.

Not moments later, another urgent pull on the side of his vest this time, made Kakashi look up with a sigh. "Afternoon Iruka." He tilted his head back to look up at the scar-faced young man.

"Afternoon." Iruka smiled, pinching the bottom of Kakashi's mask and giving a gentle tug to pull it down. After planting a sweet kiss on the exposed lips, he looked around, searching eyes checking in three hundred and sixty degrees. "Have you seen Naruto?"

"... That way." he pointed behind him in the general direction the blonde had taken.

"Ah! Thank you! Do you want to come to lunch with us?"

Kakashi sighed inwardly, casting a glance to his forgotten book. "Naw, I'm trying to get some reading in. And I don't want to deal with Naruto's energy more than I have to today."

Iruka smiled brightly, "I understand. He is very much a handful. Chicken." He smirked, planting a mashing kiss on Kakashi's masked lips before started off in the appointed direction.

The jounin moved to the shade, sinking down along the fence to have a back rest and sticking his legs out to stretch leisurely. His eyes trailed over the sentence he had now accomplished in reading three times, then began the next sentence anew.

"Ah! Kakashi-sensei!" Sakura skidded to a halt after almost tripping over his large boot. "I can't find… Sasuke… have… have you seen him?" she leaned forward, catching her breath.

He shook his head slowly, staring at her doubled over and quivering form. "Were you just sparring with someone?" he asked casually, noting the scuffed knees and messy hair.

"Ino-pig is trying to give Sasuke a first day of summer gift. I had to do something… it would be rude of her to give Sasuke something when he was training! But he wasn't training, so I have to find him." She grunted, looking around. "Alright, thanks, Sensei!" she took off at a jog again, waving to her porn-deprived teacher absently.

"Bye…" he'd already started the task of relocating his enshrouded sentence in the middle of the book by the time the farewell had left his lips.

_Kshhhhhhh-ksh-ksh-ksh-kshhhhhh!_

Kakashi turned around to stare at a particularly lively bush. "Can I help you?" he asked conversationally, the bush wagging in return.

"Are Sakura or Ino gone?" A sulking voice mumbled through the leaves, two dark eyes peering out expectantly.

"I believe so. Do you like bushes, Sasuke-kun?" Kakashi set his book down, realizing too late that he had just lost his page.

"No. I don't." he stood up and brushed himself off, stomping away down the fence line.

Kakashi watched him go a moment, then look to Icha Icha Paradisu, forlornly dirty all of a sudden from the ground he had set it on, and calling Kakashi's name in a wailing sad tone. He picked it up and began flipping through the pages idly. He had patience. He could deal with this.

POP!

"Kakashi-sensei, Tsunade-sama has sent for you." A masked Anbu bowed obediently before standing tall and rigid at attention.

The sharingan spun wildly beneath its hitai-ate. "Kami-sama, everyone hates me!"


	4. Little Boys

There once was a little boy who lived on his own. He was independent, content, and sullen.

There once was a little boy who lived on his own. He was independent, content, and happy.

One little boy loved to read porn books.

One little boy loved to teach out of text books.

The first little boy liked to appear lazy, but in secrecy he was the most active Shinobi in the village.

The second little boy liked to appear busy, but in secrecy he loved to take long bubble baths and ignore the village.

The lazy little boy walked across the street one night and returned a runaway pet fox.

The next week, the busy little boy walked across the street to offer cookies as a thanks for returning his pet fox.

The week following, the sullen little boy offered to buy dinner for the happy little boy at a Ramen stand.

The week after that, the happy little boy visited the sullen little boy and they enjoyed sake together.

The month to come brought the lazy sullen little boy to be caught spying on the busy happy little boy.

The busy happy little boy was forced to punish the lazy sullen little boy caught spying.

The next day, the sullen lazy boy asked for his pants back.

There once were two little boys who lived together. They were independent together, content together, and happily lazy together.

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-Aia 


	5. The Paragraph

AN: All spelling and grammatical errors are purposeful. XP

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Why I Should Not Throw Shuriken At The Teacher, by Uzumaki Naruto

Their are many reasens not the throw shuriken at Iruka-sensei. For one, he is alot faster than me (which will not be the case when I become Hokage), and also because he keeps my shuriken wich I had to steel from his desk in the first place. Whenever someone throws a shuriken at Iruka-sensei, I, soon to be Hokage, am always blamed! Which is an injustise to the system as we know it (I herd that in a movie once). Another reason not to throw shuriken at the teacher is becuase the teacher grades your papers. Wich leads me to the concloosion that the only reason I am getting bad grades is because other people are throwing shuriken at Iruka-sensei, blaming me, then sensei grades my essays mean! When I am Hokage, everyone who threw shuriken and blamed it on me will pay deerly. So that is why you should not throw shuriken at the teacher. Because I will come back as Hokage and smite you.

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Naruto-

An interesting conclusion, I must admit. Unfortunately I am forced to point out that I know it was you throwing most of the shuriken because I was watching you in the reflection of the window. And if my window is broken tomorrow, you will have to do clean-up and another paragraph. Naruto, the assignment was about why _you_ should not throw shuriken, not the rest of the class. And generally, it's only you.

Good luck on becoming Hokage. Come and tell me the day you do so that I may give you a _flying pig_ for your congratulatory present.

-Iruka

* * *

Imagine all this on a dirty old scroll with shuriken holes in it. XP 


	6. Notes

This is kind of a continuation of the last drabble… but a few years later obviously.

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Dear Iruka-sensei-

HA! I'm Hokage now! Where's my flying pig! And can I have a list of all the students that were in my class at the academy?

--

Naruto-sama-

I KNOW that you're Hokage, thank you. And you left me with the bill at the Ramen House. I'm not giving you a flying _anything,_ you little snot. You've tortured your senpais from the academy enough, there is no need to revenge something they didn't do to you Eight years ago. Six years ago. Seven years ago? How old are you again?

--

Iruka-sensei-

I can't believe you've forgotten how old I am. You've broken my heart. Our love is off.

--

Naruto-

Next time you leave me a note, don't do it under my pillow where Kakashi will find it. You'll probably ruin our relationship or something, Brat.

--

Iruka-

I bet you're thinking that I live to torture you, right? Well it's not true. I live to torture EVERYONE! Mwuahahaha!

--

Naruto-kun-

This is Kakashi. You're going to get your ass kicked next time I see you. And stop leaving notes in _my_ stuff. It gives Iruka incentive to go through my crap.

--

Naruto-

Sorry I missed your ass-kicking. I heard Kakashi really smashed you into the ground this time. You really should stop challenging him in public places, you know. 3 Iruka

--

Iruka and Kakashi –

Bite me. 3 Hokage-sama

--

Naruto-

If you insist. –Kakashi and Iruka

--

Iruka and Kakashi-

That was cruel. You'll pay for that. No one make a fool out of the Hokage-sama in front of entire village. Actually… I give up. Ramen?

--

Naruto-

If you pay. And how did you get a note into Icha Icha? I'm impressed, but I Kakashi says he may have to kick your ass twice as hard next time if you damaged the book at all.


	7. Green Love

Hello again! I'm glad to see you've come all this way, or you're still following. This was a short drabble I did in five minutes just before bed, and it made me warm and fuzzy. It's a GarraxLee!

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Green Love

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Gaara growled, low beneath his breath, but loud enough for Kiba to hear and get the picture. The dog boy looked semi-surprised, stepping back. "Oh… oh! Were you two…. Busy?" he mumbled, suddenly embarrassed as he caught a whif of saliva and other bodily fluids he refrained from trying to smell.

Lee wiped the short blush from his face in an instant and gave two bold thumbs up, "That's right! We are working on endurance!" he flashed a blinding smile to Kiba, then quickly did the same to Akamaru. Lee, the kind soul that he was, did not want to leave the pup out. The pup on the other hand, skittered behind Kiba's legs and whimpered.

"Um, s-sorry." He eyed Gaara's quickly growing annoyance. "We'll take our walk somewhere else today, Akamaru." He said quickly, taking only a half second to swoop down and grab the dog by the scruff of the neck. "Bye!" he all but bolted away from the pathway and down a side trail.

When Kiba and his pup were far enough away, a thin snaking layer of sand slipped up and around Lee's midsection, a wicked smile cursing the red headed boy's lips. "Now…. Where were we?"

Lee put on his best scholarly face. "I believe you were in the midst of removing-"

"I remember now." Gaara quickly sucked Lee's lower lip into his mouth and slid an invading hand into the hole he had made in the offensive green jump suit. "Lee…" Nibble. "You need…" Suckle. "To get…" Bite. "A two piece…" Gratifying moan. "Outfit…." Submission.

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Brought to you by Shinobi Drabbles; bringing you quality drabble in those five minute breaks during the day!  



	8. Uncomfortable

Drabble drabble here, drabble drabble there…

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Uncomfortable

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Genma was uncomfortable. It wasn't a pained uncomfortable, but a _something's different _uncomfortable. He shifted, then rolled in the bed, rolling again so he was on his opposite side, then onto his back so he could spread eagle. Raidoh growled a deep threatening tone, head slowly turning to look at his partner. "If you don't stop, I'm going to stab you in the eye until you look like Kakashi."

The senbon sucking man, lacking his senbon seeing as he was attempting to sleep, huffed in return. "Raidoh… there's something _wrong._" He kicked at the sheets, then swung his leg over to drape across Raidoh's back end.

"I don't care what's wrong. Just stop bothering me." He moaned, his exhaustion trying to persuade him to ignore that adorable pouting face.

"Raidooooh…." He sat up abruptly, sighing and running his hands through his hair. "I can't figure out what's wrong. I'm uncomfortable." He breathed, turning on the lamp and looking around himself.

His lover groaned at the offending light, burying his face in a feathery pillow. "Kami-sama…"

Genma finally put his Shinobi skills to work. Being the elite class jounin that he was, he should have easily known what was wrong with his surroundings.

"AHA!"

"What!"

"My pillow is missing! What pillow is this? This isn't my pillow!" he picked up the putridly _clean_ and _fluffy_ pillow with disgust.

Raidoh sighed in defeat. "That's it. Next time you ask me to clean the sheets, I refuse. And it was _you_ who wanted the pillow there to prop up your hips, you ass. Now shut the hell up and let us normal people get some sleep."

Genma was slightly horrified at the lack of sympathy. After all; he couldn't sleep without his special pillow. He made a silent vow, promising to take a clean pillow over good sex next time. Then he quickly annihilated that vow and pretended he'd never made it.

With sly precision, he clamored on top of Raidoh beneath the blankets and draped over him like an extra blanket. It wasn't the best pillow in the world, but it was better than the replacement pillow.

Raidoh moaned and attempted vaguely to suffocate himself.


	9. Bug

I'm back! I've been dedicated to KHII. I'm sorry. _  
_

_

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_

_Pssst…_

Sasuke was damning the bug to hell by now. There was a _bug_ in _his_ room. A bug. This bug was obnoxious, too. No matter how many pillows he stuffed onto his head, it was still there, silently condemning the poor genin to a night without sleep it would seem. He had tried swatting at it, he had tried swinging pillows around his head, even throwing objects in attempts to scare the creature away.

Still, it pestered on through another grueling five minutes. Every time it buzzed over him it grew louder. It was even getting so disoriented that it was running into walls and thumping loudly on impact. There was a _pzzzzt_-! And then _thap_! every five seconds.

Sasuke knew in the bottom of his heart that it wasn't really disoriented, it just wanted to piss him the hell off.

He was buried beneath all his covers, beneath all three pillows from his bed, and he had even stooped to stick his finger in his ear. Still, it was loud enough now that he could hear it through his make shift barriers. In a final exasperation he sat up, throwing all his covers and pillows off of him and violently flicking the light switch on.

This bug was going to _die_. A horrible painful death. _One. Little. Leg. At a time._

The buzzing stopped suddenly, the lights silencing it all together. Sasuke's eyes blazed in fury. How dare it try and hide! He grabbed a shoe and turned both sharingan on, deeming the situation worthy of his precious heritage-given eyes.

The tapping returned, his gaze zeroing in on the loathsome, insufferable, unbearable, obnoxious…. blonde…. bug.

He stared at the Naruto that was hanging upside down at his second story window, tapping and hissing at him with a wide grin on his face. Sasuke would have beat him with the shoe had the window not been closed, and had the blonde not been his boyfriend.

He threw the window open and hit him with the shoe anyway. "What!"

Naruto giggled victoriously, not minding the shoe much and only wincing at its impact. "Sasuke-teme!" he declared with a joyfully affectionate smile on his face.

"What!" he howled again, letting the blonde pull his own skinny ass through the window without help. The brat had been enjoying the torment after all.

"It's your birthday ten minutes ago!" Naruto beamed, pulling from inside his jacket two huge round sugar cookies, still warm and steaming against he cool night air.

There was a horrible mixture of opposite emotions in Sasuke's chest. Anger, a pathetically happy feeling, exasperation, and love, hate, and adoration. He huffed for a moment, finally staring at the undyingly proud look Naruto was giving him. "You didn't think I would remember, huh? Because you didn't tell me at all! I've remembered it since you told me last year!" he reached up and planted a happy kiss on Sasuke's pouting lips.

Finally, the sharingan settled down and shoulders relaxed a bit. "Naruto… it's one in the morning…" he half moaned. "Couldn't it have waited till breakfast at least?"

Naruto looked slightly offended. "Of course not! You molested me on my birthday, so I get to molest you on your birthday!"

Sasuke could only grit his teeth slightly. "You'd been taking a _nap!_ I was in the middle of sleeping!"

Naruto only grinned and handed him a warm cookie. "Happy birthday Sasuke-teme." he murmured tenderly.

Sasuke's hard earned pout melted away and he sighed in defeat. "Thank you, Dobe. I'm happy that you remembered." he whispered, leaning down and kissing him lovingly, gripping his hot cookie awkwardly. He finally looked at the large cookie and smiled at its squashed and crooked wording. _'Happy B-day Teme I 3 you!'_

The words were sloped down at the end and grew increasingly smaller as they went, but the sentiment did not miss his gaze. "My favorite kind." he murmured, tilting his head to rest on Naruto's.

"Lets eat them while they're hot! That's the best time." Naruto leapt at the bed he had visited a few times before, kicking the blankets flat again and patting the empty space beside him. His koi sat down and they both opened their cookies, munching and smiling to one another as they did.

"Thanks for pestering me." Sasuke mumbled through sugar coated lips.

Naruto beamed and leaned forward, ridding those delectable lips of all external sugar he could find. "No problem."


	10. Perturbed

Iruka stared at the bathroom door to his apartment as if it had grown a face and possibly a pair of horns as well. It was not the door necessarily that had turned into the epitome of _freakiness_, but what lied beyond the door that perturbed him.

He walked forward carefully and pressed his ear against the door, listening to confirm his suspicions.

Kakashi was in the shower. Singing.

"_Scream so loud! Getting fuckin' laid! You want me to stay, but I've got to make my way! Hey! You're crazy bitch, but you fuck so good I'm on top of it!_" Kakashi all but bellowed full heartedly against the pounding water of the shower.

Iruka was disturbed but at the same time intrigued. It was as if witnessing the unimaginable, like a horrible fantasy that ought never have been fulfilled.

"_When I dream, I'm doin' you all night, scratch yourself down my back and to keep me right on…_"

Finally, after a few choruses of "Crazy Bitch", Kakashi grew tired of this song and decided a more inventive song was in order.

"_Screamin oh! We're never gonna quit! Ain't nothin' wrong it! Just actin' like we're animals!" _Here Kakashi's singing was muffled by water and soap by the sounds of it._ "No! No matter where we go, cause everybody knows, we're just a couple animals! So come on baby, get in! Get in, just get in. Check out the trouble we're in!_"

Iruka didn't know how to feel. He hovered between violated and amused, listening through the door and masking any chakra that he hadn't already been hiding.

"_…Got your head between my knees, and you control how fast we go just by how hard you wanna squeeze…_"

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU SINGING!"

A gasp and a crash rewarded Iruka's outburst, the door banging on its hinges. Kakashi had landed in a heap in the bottom of the shower, the water spraying in his face.

"Gah- it -_sputter_- it wasn't –_cough_- it wasn't me! Radio!"

Iruka stared at him flatly, hands on his hips as he assumed a mocking teacher position. "Uh-huh. And I suppose those lyrics don't mean what they sounded like either?"

Kakashi blinked the water from his eye, running a hand through his hair to get it out of his face. "No. They were definitely about sex."

Iruka heaved a sigh and shook his head in pity. "I never ever want to hear you singing in the shower again. Play the radio next time okay?" With that he pulled off his clothes and decided it was a good time for a shower.

* * *

I'm sorry.

That's all I really have to say about this one.

Disclaimer: _Crazy Bitch_ and all lyrics associated belongs to Buckcherry and their record company. _Animals_ and all lyrics associated belongs to Nickelback (of all people) and their record company.

Yay for the Kakairu playlist on my laptop!


	11. The Spyware

WARNING! CONTAINS SERIOUS LANGUAGE! I was feeling very venomous towards the internet and my computer when I wrote this, so please excuse my breech of protocol. I am generally a very clean writer, but the F-bomb was just so Sasuke Uchiha today. Apologies times ten!

* * *

The Spyware

* * *

Sasuke glared. He glared and glared till he felt that his eyes would soon take the advantage to roll from his head. What the _f-ck_ did it mean he had 182 infections. And why the _f-ck_ couldn't he clean them up with the stupid Spyware Doctor he'd downloaded? It said it was free, what the hell where they trying to pull with all this 'buy it now' crap?

He growled low in his chest, teeth clenched and eyes viciously trying to hack away at the computer screen. He was ready to be done with this computer. It had caused his life more complications and stress than any appliance should. He had less troubles with the toaster Naruto had destroyed a year ago. The toaster was another story in itself, but suffice to say that there was a rule of 'six foot radius when toasting' in the house.

"F-CK!"

Naruto peeked a sleepy head from the bedroom to stare dazedly at his boyfriend. "Whazzamadder?"

"Nnnnnnng, F-CK!"

Naruto took that as his cue to waddle over and lean over to look at the screen. "Oh… that's only a free scan trial, it's not the actual spyware fighting software. It's just a ploy to get you to buy their product." he mumbled, yawning towards the end of his sentence.

Sasuke fumed, eyes growing bright red and sharingan beginning to swirl.

"No need to get so worked up." Naruto muttered, pushing the Uchiha out of the way and exiting the set up, deleting the 'free' program that Sasuke had spent the last two hours downloading and trying to understand.

Opening a new window and clicking around through a few sites, Naruto smoothly downloaded a spyware search and destroy system, running it and cleaning the computer in a few short minutes.

"There!" he beamed happily and looked up to Sasuke, hoping to gain some happy praise of some sort. "All better!"

"Nnnnnnng, F-CK!"

* * *

Again, sorry. But this is what I just experience. Except I didn't have anyone here to help me. I spent all last night trying to find an anti-virus/ spyware program. Because I have none. And I just got internet. And I got crazy infected I think.

I wish I was technologically savvy.

Tears.

-Aia


	12. Kiba Likes, and Kiba Dislikes

I was looking through my drabbles and, gasp! There were no KibaShino drabbles! How horrible is that? So here is a short 129 word Kiba Shino...thing.

* * *

Kiba Likes, and Kiba Dislikes

* * *

Kiba liked apple pie.

Kiba didn't like cherry pie.

Kiba liked playing intense games of tag.

Kiba didn't like playing board games.

Kiba liked the outdoors.

Kiba didn't like the kitchen. He held sour past-times with the kitchen.

Kiba liked sleeping.

Kiba didn't like being shaken awake from sleeping. An no one liked waking him from that sleep.

Kiba liked Shino.

Kiba didn't like watching Ten Ten with Shino.

The hell Kiba was going to let that breasted beast touch his Shino.

"Oi! Chick with the weapons in her ass! Go home!"

Kiba liked watching Akakmaru chasing Ten Ten.

Kiba also liked feeling a possessive hand creep along his back as Shino joined him to watch the vicious puppy.

"I like watching them scream when he bites."

"Me, too."

* * *

The end. XD -Aia


	13. Got Your Back

Sasuke toppled forward, chest heaving in short breaths, and face pained beneath smudges of dirt. He pushed himself up to a push up position, hips dragging on the ground. He was so tired, worn out. The stupid porn reading pervert had far too much strength to bea normal jounin.

Kakashi squatted down in front of him, orange book stead fast in place with his eyes scanning the illustrated version he had just bought. "Maa… Sasuke, you still have-oof!"

Kakashi was suddenly bowled over, knocking Sasuke back to the ground and landing spread eagled in the dirt. It took him a moment to realize what had happened, but almost immediately he discovered that the audience had suddenly attacked without permission.

"What are you doing, Naruto? I told you to wait your turn!" Kakashi scowled beneath his black mask, one hand coming out in a single fisted seal. Naruto was blown backwards into a tree where he had previously been watching Sasuke get his ass kicked.

The blonde grinned wolfishly though and gave Sasuke a thumbs up, "I've got your back, Uchiha!"

And for once, Sasuke let a thin smile dance across his lips. "Thanks, dobe."

Kakashi glanced between his two students tentatively, "...Where did all the love come from?"

"Up yours, pervert."

* * *

Awwwwwe…. Narusasu lovin's.

This was inspired by the new PS2 game, Naruto: Ultimate Ninja. Wherein Naruto is a supporting character for Sasuke. I thought that was totally cute. So when Sasuke needs help as he's fighting, Naruto pops up out of nowhere and does this crazy bunshin jutsu and kicks major booty. I couldn't help myself. I had to write something about it.


	14. Crabs

:CSI: Crime Scene Investigation is playing on tv: Sara: "I found crabs on the victims clothes..."

Aia's friend: What are crabs?

Aia: Erm... The show... might tell you... uh... yeah...

A little while later, Aia's friend: I still don't get it, what are crabs?

Aia: I'm going to get a glass of milk, want one?

AND SO THIS DRABBLE WAS BORN!

* * *

Crabs

* * *

Shikamaru stared at the red head before him.

Was this some sort of a joke? Was Gaara of the Sand _actually_ trying to pull a prank of some sort? He sure as hell wasn't cracking a smile for the deal.

"Say that again?"

"What is 'crabs'?" Gaara hated repeating himself, even to his boyfriend.

"You're kidding, right?" Shikamaru rolled over on the grass and gazed up at the Sand-nin, who often tracked his shadowy partner down in Konoha only to sit and stare at the grass cross legged, never saying a word.

Today had been a variation of tradition it appeared. After finding the spot under a nice over cropping of shady trees, Gaara had sat down and sidled close to his sleeping boyfriend. For a long while, neither said anything. The only connection of acknowledgment that passed between them was a momentary compassionate eye contact that lasted all of five seconds before Shikamaru fell asleep again.

Finally, Gaara had rudely awoken the sleeping shinobi by stabbing him in the armpit with a stick that had fallen from the tree above. Albeit an interesting choice of weapons, Gaara found it perfectly normal to poke people while they slept. He wasn't allowed to sleep, therefore neither was anyone else. Funny how he had picked the only shinobi in the village that slept more than three fourths of the day away to be his lover.

"My brother. He was complaining about 'crabs'. I thought they lived in water." Gaara explained solemnly. He hated not understanding. Since he had previously believed crabs lived in the water, the contradiction his brother had made in the middle of the bathroom was more than slightly confusing. Because their bathroom definitely did not have a living body of water in it. And crabs didn't come out of the tap, Gaara was sure of that.

Shikamaru squinted his eyes, as if trying to see through the sand mask to look for some demonic smile that giggled perhaps. A tell tale of any sort would have been nice. "You're serious?"

"Do I look like I'm not serious?"

Now_ there_ was a question. "Ahh…. no… I guess not. Um… why don't you ask your sister next time you see her. She'd probably be able to explain better." _And that way I won't have to explain it._

"Hn." Gaara was not pleased with this answer. "I asked you though. If I wanted to ask my sister, I would have."

"Um, look! Naruto!" Shikamaru sat up and waved one hand at the bumbling blonde.

"Hey! Gaara and Shikamaru!" Naruto latching onto one particularly unimpressed Uchiha hand, dragging the poor pallid nin across the grass to meet with the other couple. "What's up?"

Gaara didn't waste any time. "Naruto, what are 'crabs'?" He questioned his friend seriously.

Sasuke shifted and shared a glance with Shikamaru, who turned pink and smacked a hand against his forehead.

Naruto gave a thoughtful look to the leaves above, a pensive hand scratching the back of his head. "Umm… those little red claw-y thingies that live at the beach?"

"Hm. I thought so." Gaara pondered to himself further.

This time, Shikamaru shot Sasuke a snickering look, the brooding boy ignoring him and only rolling his eyes. "Kami-sama help us." he muttered, eyes roving to the sky pleadingly.

"From crabs?" Naruto gave him a curious glance.

Sasuke could only stare, then shake his head in pity.

* * *

...Yeah.

-Aia


	15. Ugly Tree

* * *

Ugly Tree

* * *

Kakashi stared at the tree. 

It was a very ugly tree in all reality. Resembling a horrified dying person with his head thrown back and broken arms hanging at his sides to drag along the ground. Here and there smaller branches looked like grotesque arrows sticking into the dying man's chest; or maybe tentacles coming out? Yes, that was it, it was a dying man with tentacles sprouting from him in a horrible B movies fashion.

After a short mental smack, the jounin ventured forward towards the right limb of the tree, the branch sloping downwards dramatically before bending like and elbow and leading to the ground.

Kakashi walked up the tree limb from the ground, then settled himself in the bend. Comfortably positioned and more relaxed in this ugly tree than he was anywhere in Konoha, he whipped out Icha Icha Paradise with skilled ninja precision. There was nothing like an ugly tree and his favorite book. With both at hand, no one came near him.

It really was an ugly tree.

* * *

Spurred by an ugly tree that I felt sorry for. So, not that ugly tree can claim that it has a drabble written about it.

...? is all I really have to say about the drabble itself


	16. Fixation

* * *

Fixation

* * *

Neji was staring.

Sasuke noticed this after some awkward glances over his shoulder to the Hyuuga. He put a protective arm around Naruto and helped the limping boy towards Ichiraku.

Neji continued to stare. Even worse, Neji was staring at Naruto's _ass_. Displeased with this, Sasuke inched closer to Naruto, now almost fully supporting his blonde boyfriend. The Byakugan appeared to be activated, making Sasuke's skin crawl slightly. Was he looking _through Naruto's pants!_ The bastard!

He seated Naruto in one of the stools, the blonde boy grinning broadly, "Sorry to be such a nuisance, but hospital food was making me super sick!" he explained. The group that had taken their injured partner out for the day all assured him that it was no trouble at all.

Sasuke sat down beside his blonde wounded boy, and Neji sat on the other side.

For the first five minutes of lunch, between Naruto's boisterous recap of his B rank mission gone terribly wrong, Neji was sneaking peaks downward. The Uchiha was growing increasingly anxious, the annoyance in his chest beginning to flare. What was Neji's deal? He'd never been so perverted, especially in public!

Loud boasts broke the brooding boy's thoughts as Naruto slung an arm around Sasuke to indicate where the boy entered the story of heroic failure. "And then he tried to fight them all by himself but I knew he couldn't handle it so I dragged myself off the ground and-!"

Neji cut him off suddenly, eyes fixated on the blonde's behind. "Naruto, does it hurt when you lean to the left?"

"Eh?"

"When you're sitting, walking even. Does the left side hurt?" He asked coolly.

Sasuke stared in confusion, partly happy that this was getting settled, but mostly confused.

"Um, a little, but I was injured all over, so… I don't really notice. Why?"

Neji scratched at the Byakugen eyes that were popping with veins. "You've got a shuriken imbedded in your ass."

Silence fell over the group, as they processed this information. "I what!" Naruto turned around to stare at his own rump.

"A shuriken. Imbedded in you ass. It appears to have entered from the left side and stopped dead center of your left butt cheek. I can't believe you don't feel it." He rested his head in his hand lazily.

Sasuke huffed slightly, staring at his soup. "Dumbass."

Neji smirked lightly, "What, thought I was staring at your boyfriend's butt this whole time, just for a rise?"

"…What were you doing looking at Naruto's ass with the Byakugen in the first place?" Sasuke spat, not to be made a fool.

"Yeah, that's a good question." Naruto squinted at him, rubbing the back of his head in thought.

Neji snarled, "I was inspecting the both of you when you came out of the hospital! Perverts. The med-nins don't have our abilities, you know." he grunted, pushing his empty ramen bowl away. "Last time I try and help you two." He vacated the seat in a huff.

Sakura filled the seat and gave Naruto a stern look, "You're going to have to get surgery on this, you know. We should go back to the hospital right away and get Tsunade!"

Naruto veered away from her as if she were contagious, "Yeah right! Like I want that old hag stabbing me in the butt!"

Kiba giggled, "She'd rip him a new-"

"Don't be vulgar." Shino cut him off with a grunt.

"You ruin all my fun." He pouted, but gave a playful pinch in a none-to discrete display of affection.

Sasuke sighed and glared at everyone that dare return his gaze. He finally stared down at Naruto. "Finish your ramen, then you're going back to the hospital." he ordered calmly.

"But Sasukeee! I don't want to have surgery on my butt!"

"Fine, we'll leave it there so you walk like a penguin for the rest of your life."

"I don't wanna walk like a penguin for the rest of my life!"

"Would you both shut up?" Sakura issued silencing blows, grabbing Naruto by the collar. "HOSPITAL. NOW."

The owner of Ichiraku watched in mild amusement and skepticism. "Shinobi… Don't know what I'd do without their money but…. they sure are weird…"

* * *

XD Shuriken in his butt! What did _you_ think Neji was staring for? o.O 


	17. Anything for Iruka

Anything for Iruka

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

"Kakashi, hand me that pen?" Genma pointed to the coffee table.

The indicated man lowered his perverse novel for but one disbelieving moment, before raising it up to his eye level again and completely ignoring his fellow jounin.

"Bastard." Genma got up, grumbling to himself, to retrieve the pen.

o0O0o

"Kakashi-senseiiiii!" Sakura moaned, chakra completely depleted and what energy she had being used to speak. "Could you… hand me… my water bottle…?" she begged, pointing at the pack not far from his feet.

He glanced down at it, then smiled kindly to the pink haired kunoichi. "No."

"But-!"

"Nope."

"UHG!"

o0O0o

"Kakashi, get over here." Tsunade pointed at the ground in front of her desk.

"Uh-uh. I'm onto you."

"I'm not up to ANYTHING!" She blared, ample bosom vibrating in anger from the yell. "Get. Over here. Right. Now." she ground out irritably.

"No."

"NOW!"

"You can give me my assignment from here."

"Dammit Hatake! Do as I say!"

"Nope."

o0O0o

"I want ramen!"

"And…?"

"Sasuke left early and said that you'd buy it today!" Naruto bemoaned, eyes squinting into a defying pout.

"He lied."

"Please, Kakashi-sensei! Just this once?"

"Fat chance."

o0O0o

The Academy Secretary sent a few wary glances towards Hatake-sama, before gathering her nerves and walking around the desk. She leaned over, hands on her knees, to whisper to the jounin politely, "Hatake-sama, please, this is a children's school. Could you put the adult novel away if you don't mind?" she asked kindly, a sweet smile gracing her lips.

He smiled back, unable to resist such a plea. "No."

She blanched, "Um, but-!"

"I have to have my daily dose of Icha Icha. All day long." he informed, eye once more training to the orange book.

She stuttered slightly, then firmly clamped her lips shut and whirled around to return to her desk. With an exasperated puff from the chair, she sat down hard and continued to shuffle paperwork, this time with force.

A few moments later, a soft _swish_ made Kakashi look up in apprehension.

Iruka glared at him from down the hall. "Kakashi, put that away, this is a school."

Without a word of protest, Kakashi tucked the orange book inside his vest with a happy smile. "If you say so. May I buy you dinner, Iruka-sensei?"

Iruka smiled warmly, "I'd love that." He slipped a warm hand across Kakashi's knuckles lovingly. "I have to sign out first, though. Hand me that pen?"

Kakashi located the object and walked the entirety of the counter, plucking the pen from it's cup and returning to the teacher's side loyally. "Anything for Iruka-sensei."

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o


	18. Punch Drunk Love

A drabble for the 200th reviewer of Internet Perditions. Happychica! Enjoy the kakairu drunkeness. XD

XOXOXOXOXOX

**Drunk Punch Love**

or **Prunch Dunk Luff** if you preferr

XOXOXOXOXOX

_There are many reasons for drinking, _

_And one has just entered my head,_

_If a man cannot drink when he's living,_

_How the hell can he drink when he's dead?_

**_XOXOXOXOXOXOXO_**

"Nnnnng, Kashi-shenshei… Who're you gonna kiss for New Yearshsss?" Anko stumbled, face first, into the silver headed jounin's vest.

"Me?" Kakashi waved a bottle through the air, nearly taking Anko's head off her shoulders with the green glass jug. "I'n not tellin'…" he slurred, a happy drunken sparkle in his eye.

Anko pouted ferociously, her lower lip sticking out in a sore attempt to be cute. "But Kashi… You _never_ let _anyone_ kish'you…"

He giggled and this time, did manage to beat her across the back of the head with the bottle, "I know! But this year… oh… sorry… you okay?"

She bent into snickers, still holding the back of her head. She shook her head from side to side but then cheerfully shouted, "Yup! Didn't feel a thing!" With that, her pursuit forgotten, she dragged her feet to the next man at the bar counter. Jounin parties were wonderful, because no one remembered anything the next day. Anko always relied on that, as she propositioned the next ninja.

"Hey Kakashi…" A disturbingly mellow Genma sidled in beside his fellow jounin, towing a hiccupping Raidoh by one hand. "So uh, what're you doin' after –hic- the New Year's Party's over?" he questioned seductively.

"I dunno, Gemmm….Genmmma…" Kakashi was moping at his green bottle. It had a cracked hole in the bottom (Anko's head…?), and most of his precious liquid and found itself down the front of his pants. Well, he was _pretty_ sure that was booze. And that it hadn't circulated through his body before emerging on his pants. _Pretty_ sure…

Genma snickered and tried to slide his hand to Kakashi's waist band suggestively, but instead the approach was much more obvious. He reached down and grabbed Kakashi's crotch. "Wansta come over to play with Raidoh an'me?" he leaned in close, Raidoh turning a few shades of pink, before turning green and frowning at his stomach.

It took a moment for Kakashi to register the offer. When he did he was half appalled, and half-thoughtful on whether or not he should accept. For amusement purposes though, he decided to decline.

In mock horror, he gasped and put a hand over his heart, "_Genma!_" he scolded, "How _dare_ you!" And with an evil snicker, he brought the already empty bottle down on Genma's bandana clad head with a crash. "Taking advantage of… of… me." He finished, swaying at the bar as Raidoh stared at his boyfriend, now on the ground laughing hysterically.

"Z'he alright?" Raidoh motioned to his senbon obsessive boyfriend.

"Cha. He's dandy. Me on the other hand… I'm out of booze… I may have peed my pants… and New Years is only a half hour away without anyone to kiss… Yaaaay Beer!" he turned with a jaunty grin and snatched another bottle off the counter, staggering merrily away and towards the door.

A door guard, looking particularly pissed off that he was in fact the door guard, put a rough hand on Kakashi's shoulder. "Sorry, Hatake-sama, I can't let you out in your state of inebriation. You know the rules. No drunk jounin terrorizing the streets of Konoha." he stated carefully, gently pushing the copy-nin back towards the party.

Kakashi grew a thoughtful look, "Aaaah yes, that fateful night… In which Jiraiya the Foul roamed the streets and broke into homes… propositioning women sex for an anti-aging jutsu…" he proceeded to tell the entire story, then slowly swayed and fell forward. The guard, sober and angry about that fact, caught Kakashi mid fall and hefted his weight with a grunt.

"Hatake-sama, are you-?"

"AHA, YOU FELL FOR IT!" Kakashi stuck both hands on the guard's chest and sent a jolt of chakra through him, paralyzing him in place. The prankster did a gleeful stagger, then turned around and threw his arms open in a display of splendor, "GUARD DOWN! EVERYONE'S FREE!" he declared.

The party let out a drunken roar of approval as a stampede made for the exit. Kakashi slipped out the door gleefully, one bottle in hand, and the other grabbing anything that didn't move… too much. Most everything was moving, so that couldn't really be helped. He could hear boos and moans and back up guards scrambled to get the doors shut on the rest of the jounin party goers.

With an outlook on life that bordered ecstatic, Kakashi made his way in a slow yet glorious fashion to the Chuunin party that he knew was located in the next bar over.

Guards on the outside looked hesitantly to one another as Kakashi approached, fidgeting in apprehension. A drunk jounin, especially one with hair that defied gravity and happened to be silver, was particularly more dangerous than a sober jounin. Sober jounin were much more controlled with jutsu. Whereas-

"ARG!"

Both guards were pounced on by snapping dogs, all of whom held down the sentries and pushed the door open for Kakashi obediently. "Ahahaha… Thanks boys…!" He giggled to himself and sauntered into the laughter and foul air like he owned the place.

"Ah, a jounin!" A few chuunin immediately spotted the superior and attempted to stand at attention. Most however, tumbled gracelessly to their faces in a display of too many experimental drinking games.

"Where's Iruka-zenzei!" Kakashi all but bellowed, staggering to one of the Academy teachers who looked particularly sober, considering her environment. "YOU!" The jounin stumbled and fell at his target. "Where's Iruka-senzei?" he demanded, latching ont the bar counter for support with one hand, and the kunoichi's vest with the other.

"Erm- he- he- I-I took him home! He was… he passed out on the table and I thought I should-should get him out of here before someone- di-did something bad to him!" The frightened woman was clutching her Shirley Temple in fear. "Jounin-sama, I'm sorry! I didn't know you were looking for him!" she defended, eyes misting in terror.

Kakashi watched her through one scrutinizing eye for a moment, then stumbled away without another word. He exited the building and snapped his fingers. He snapped them a few times though, because he couldn't get the first snap to work properly. Nor the second or third snap. The dogs finally got the idea and disappeared in a pop. The copy-nin shrugged and began his journey of drunken swagger down the streets of Konoha at 11:45 pm.

At 11:58, he arrived at a familiar brown and tan house, that distinctly stated IRUKA. Maybe it said that because it was where Iruka lived. Kakashi wasn't sure. Or maybe it stated IRUKA because… there was a plaque next to the door that stated UMINO. He still wasn't sure. But he _was_ sure… that he had just tripped on a stair and bashed his head against the door knob. That he was sure of, because his head kind of throbbed in a numb, I-can't-feel-much sort of fashion.

The door opened a crack, and Iruka stared out curiously, a mug of strong coffee in one hand, and an ice pack to his forehead in the other. The lump beneath it resembled Kakashi's new bruise. In fact, the two wounds looked so much alike, they both had the lock and key hole impressions in the same spot.

"Iruga-zenzei!" Kakashi flourished, dragging himself to his feet and grabbing the doorframe. "I've-I've come for my New Year's kiss!" he declared, louder than need be when standing four inches away from the person he was speaking with.

Iruka blinked a few times, then looked around the street. "How'd you get out?"

"Same way I got in."

"Got in the club?"

"Nope. Got in your house." Kakashi glomped the teacher, pulling coffee mug, ice pack, and a surprised Umino to the floor of his entrance way.

With sloppy technique but obvious intent, Kakashi mashed his lips into Irukas just as the grandfather clock on the wall struck midnight. The inebriated lust went both ways, as Iruka tried to keep up with the zealous jounin. Tongues dueled and liquor filled breaths melded together.

The clock finished ticking, and Iruka gargled a protest for air. "Kashi… I'm laying on… my shoes…and it hurts." he grunted, trying to push on the offending weight that pinned him down.

"Oh, my mishtake. Lez move to the bedroom."

"What!"

"Couch?"

"No-!"

"Fine, carpet at least?"

"Kakashi!"

"You are very hard too please." Kakashi muttered, dipping his mouth down again to taste the new sensation of semi-drunk chuunin.

Iruka squirmed, then freed himself from the hot wet mouth. "Kakashi-sensei!" he demanded, a firm and adorable pout on his face.

"Yes?" Kakashi looked up, lips curving upwards in a lopsided innocent smile.

Iruka pulled a face, before huffing. "…Couch."

"Okay."

OXOXOXOXOXOXOX

DX The break bar is broken. You know, the one that seperates stuff? Cha, it be broken. So sad.

Anyway. Thar be the drunken Kakairu luff, requested by Happychica. I hope it lived up to your hopes. And if you enjoyed, leave a review! I love to hear suggestions and the parts that you liked.


	19. Naruto's Yaoi Hentai Experience

**Naruto's Yaoi Hentai Experience**

_...xX Damnit the space bar is still broken on Grrr... Xx..._

Sasuke sighed, tossing his shinobi gear onto the ground beside the door. "Naruto!" His voice carried in one long tired note through the halls of the Uchiha mansion.

"Computer room!"

Sasuke made a flat face; the git sure had been spending a lot of time on the new computer lately. He tramped up the stairs at a tired tromp, reaching the computer room to see an aggravated scowl across the dobe's face.

"What's the matter?" Sasuke sidled up against the back of the computer chair, leaning down to place a soft kiss on Naruto's perky hair. Not till the blonde snapped an accusing finger at the computer screen did the Uchiha actually _look_ at the digital picture.

"That's the matter!" Naruto declared. "How the hell is that even possible? Look! They're all cumming on him _at the same time_! How can six guys simultaneously cum, huh!" He demanded, outraged at the screen. "And this one! Look! His cock is thicker than his arm! I mean, what the hell?"

Sasuke was just beginning to heat up in bodily temperature.

"And this one, too! Four guys being freaking pretzels is what it looks like to me. No one can bend like that, and I don't think that's a healthy size for _anyone's_ anus." he snarled and leaned back in the chair. "I don't know what Kiba's talking about. This yaoi hentai doesn't excite me at all. It pisses me off. And why is the uke always crying!" His rant grew louder in octaves, obscuring Sasuke's thoughts to swarm his brain with confusion and hormones.

"And then the seme is always forcing his dick into the uke's mouth. If you did that to me I'd _bite_ the damn thing off. And _then_ who'd be sorry? Huh!"

Sasuke reached a shaking hand to the computer mouse, hoping to be rid of the picture before _something bad happened._

Naruto was not done with his slide show though. "But this really gets me. The one picture that I would like, IS CENSORED EVERYWHERE! If I come looking for porn, I WANNA SEE THE PORN PART! Not a bunch of fuzzy squares that _indicates_ porn. What the hell is that all about?"

Sasuke gulped, staring wide eyed at the pictures as Naruto scrolled through them. His nether regions finally let out an signal that attention was wanted. "Dammit, dobe." The tired warrior was less tired now, and more worked into a tizzy than anything. "Looking at hentai…" he went into mutters, making Naruto turn a curious eye on the older boy.

"What?"

"You're gonna be sorry…" More mutters followed, and Naruto was yanked out of his chair.

"Hey, that crappy hentai didn't work for you did it?" Naruto asked accusingly, trying to peak at the front of Sasuke's pants. He felt hurt that it took Sasuke only a few moments to get it up, when Naruto had only raised his blood pressure with anger.

"Shut up, jackass."

With that, Sasuke tossed one seemingly unaroused, but soon to be stimulated, Uzumaki blonde onto their bed. "Baka Dobe."

_XxXxXxSpacebarbrokenxXxXxX_

Well, that was Naruto's yaoi hentai experience. Forgive the crack. And sorry for being a loser on updates lately.


	20. Morning Shower

Warning: Will make you blush.

Mornings were like bad lovers; started to soon, thwarted the pleasurable sensations of bed, and were to damn happy. Also, mornings took away even the most skilled ninja's wits, just like witnessing the stupidity of a certain Uzumaki in action. But Naruto was not a bad lover, not in the least. He _was_ stupid though. Sometimes.

Sasuke Uchiha was not a morning person. Ironically enough neither was Naruto. Though the two shinobi be lovers during noon, evening, and night, the mornings held a different dynamic between the couple. There was _hate._ How _dare_ you steal the blankets. How _dare _you leave your pants and boots on the floor for me to trip over. Did you just walk into the bathroom when you _knew_ I was heading there?

Without so much as a single word uttered, the two threw back and forth the most insidious threats each could muster. Naruto had a tendency to walk slowly and usually in Sasuke's way. Sasuke was frequent to slam doors and kick things out of his path. Living or not. Naruto had few times been privileged to the Sasuke Style: 1000 Years of Death when he bungled Sasuke's morning needs.

This morning however, there was no war. Sasuke was allowed to sit and brood about how much he actually hated his lover in the mornings, but he did so out of habit, not annoyance. Naruto slept soundly in the bedroom, and probably would till noon. The blonde young man was bandaged, bruised, sore, and broken from his mission. No morning routine today. No slow bumbling pace down the small hallway, only wheezing snores and uncomfortable moans.

This turned Sasuke's lips out slightly. Was that longing in his heart? Did he actually miss the stupid morning routine of theirs?

Then he snorted audibly. No. He missed his morning shower sex with the blonde god.

Yeah. That was it.

Without a second thought on the emotional aspect of his lover, he concentrated on the physical form. In less time than their normal morning shower excursion, he found his pleasure in capable hands; his own. With a satisfied sigh, he stumbled groggily from the shower. He was still exhausted. Duty called, unfortunately. And its name was Tsunade-baa-chan. He cringed.

o0O0o

"Narutooo! I brought you a bento box." Sasuke bellowed, noting that he'd already covered the bag holding the bento with dirt and grime.

"Mmm."

"What?"

"Bring it to me." Naruto bemoaned from the living room.

Sasuke obliged, kicking his muddy boots off in the kitchen and carefully treading through the large Uchiha mansion. He dropped the dinner in Naruto's lap and glanced at the large lump on Naruto's forehead. It looked somewhat fresh and annoyed, but he didn't have time to enquire.

Naruto was smiling happily and demanding a kiss it would seem. "You're covered in dirt ya know."

"Thank you." A sharp kiss. "You should be on watch tower duty you're so observant."

"Har har, asshole. See if I try and save your precious white rugs anymore." He scoffed, uncovering dinner with one broken finger and one sprained wrist. Between the limbs he juggled the bag open with a defiant smirk. Naruto 1, Bento Box 0.

"How do you feel? Want anything?"

"Feel fine. Want you to take a shower."

Sasuke scoffed, suddenly noticing his absurdly mixed stench of black powder, tree sap, and slug slime from Tsunade's angry outburst. There was also dog saliva thrown in about his ankles, thanks to Kakashi's dumb summons.

"Hm. Alright."

"Speaking of shower." Naruto made a flat face suddenly. He raised a broken finger to point at the lump on his forehead.

The Uchiha chuckled and poked the egg on his head. "Fall in the shower?"

"Yeah. I slipped in your jiz thanks. Do you know what it's like to have your ass kicked by someone's sperm? No. So if you don't want the experience, wash it down the drain next time." Naruto groused, eyes never leaving his tv program.

Sasuke pinkened, doing an about face and heading for the stairs. "Ass-kicking sperm. I'll remember that."

o0O0o

Did you blush? X3


End file.
